


A Hero's Flame

by DrizzlyMango



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Depression, Feelings, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Character Death, References to Depression, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:26:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27812248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrizzlyMango/pseuds/DrizzlyMango
Summary: If only.If only.If only.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	A Hero's Flame

His dreams were of ash and blood. The screaming and the din of battle still rattled his ear drums, shocking him awake in pools of his own sweat that felt too much like the phantom blood that soaks him to his bones. 

He’d once dreamt of tall trees and the smokey musk that trailed his brothers like their shadows. Despite all the odds being stacked against them, they’d been brothers, not bound by blood but something deeper. Something that went beyond the very understanding of human nature. 

When Sabo had been taken from them because of a cruel adult world and stupid rules it had shattered them. They were brothers three, and they were missing their final puzzle piece. Ace had been the stronger of the two, making Luffy open promises and taking the time to become dependable. 

Sure he had his quirks and he was like any big brother. Luffy knew he could be annoying and a brat, but that never diminished the faint sparkle in Ace’s eyes as he beheld his brother. The fondness that had settled over him as he watched Luffy’s antics. It was like he was savoring every movement. Like he was committing it all to memory. 

Burning it into his brain so that one day, before he turned to ash he would be able to remember the happy times, to know that he lived for himself not for phantoms of his past. 

  
  


But Luffy hated that glint now. The piercing gaze of Ace’s dark eyes as he thanked him in the most emotionally raw way possible before fading to nothing and dying in Luffy’s arms. That tear from Sabo had never healed over but Luffy had learned to love and treasure every moment he had with his family, his nakama. He had counted on Ace to keep his promise. To never die, or at least not until he saw Luffy accomplish his dream, but here on the battle field after pulling off the impossible Ace joined the casualties of the war, not seeing just how much his words had pierced the hearts of his friends and family. Not seeing just how much it destroyed Luffy. 

Food tasted like ash. His stomach didn’t rumble, didn’t yearn for food the way it used to. Not when heart ache consumed him. 

It had been days, weeks, months maybe, since he started training but still the nightmares came. He didn’t know peace. Rayleigh had been patient and kind, and had offered numerous times to let him vent and rave about it. To let him release the pain and anguish that had wrapped itself in a vice like grip around his heart. 

  
  


Realizing that your hero was only human was something that can shatter you to the very core. Ace had always been his hero. Deep down Luffy had know that since he met him Ace was special. It had nothing to do with who his father was. Ace had an air about him that made people long to follow him, that longed to prove themselves to him. Luffy too wished to prove that he could stand on equal footing with his brother. 

After rescuing him from the executioner's blade, hearing Ace say that he’d improved, seeing the delighted smiles as they finally walked the same path had been more than Luffy could have ever wanted. But it was short lived. Gone before he could even appreciate it. Ace’s flame had been smothered by the law, and had taken a part of Luffy’s soul with it. 

Luffy had flown too close to the sun, and it was the universe’s way of reminding him that they were not invincible, they were all just humans. 

Jinbei had tried, had reminded Luffy of what he still had, of the crew that remained and shared his pain. Perhaps had their own pain and regret for not being there when their captain, their friend and brother, had needed them most. 

Rayleigh had told him grief is a process, that it takes time. 

That time heals wounds. 

What time does not prepare you for is moving on. The fear of forgetting them. The fear of remembering them as something they aren’t. 

Ace had never been keen on being compared to a hero, he insisted that heroes were the best kind of people. They helped people without expecting anything in return, they shared everything they had, they were humble and kind. That’s what Ace was for Luffy. 

He was the best big brother. He helped Luffy more times than he could count, never demanding anything in return. He shared almost all that he had with Luffy. He could be humble and kind. 

Their brotherhood had been forged in fire. Ace had kept that flame for adventure and progress burning. But Ace was gone. Ace wasn’t there to pick Luffy up off his feet again. He wasn’t there to make sure he kept going or took care of himself. 

He wasn’t there. 

His heart was frozen, his blood ice in his veins as he tried to reign in the guilt and rage. If only he’d been stronger. If only he had moved quicker. 

If only.

If only.

If only. 

_If only it had been him_. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm still suffering through the rest of this semester. I've been on a bit of a hiatus to focus on my classes, and will likely take a while off from posting anything new. The only reason this is up is because one of the graduate essays I had to write for an application was on a depressing topic and it made me realize my hero is only human.


End file.
